by Rachel Alexandria | Sep 19, 2022 | articles |
You may have heard the phrase, “Most people go to therapy to learn how to deal with people who won’t go to therapy.” Funny, but true, right? The foundation of most healthy relationships is well-set boundaries. Most people think boundaries mean cutting...
by Rachel Alexandria | Sep 4, 2022 | articles |
Have you ever worked hard on a project, only to have your boss never mention it? Take extra time to get dressed up for “date night” and your spouse doesn’t say anything? Go out of your way for the school fundraiser and no one acknowledges it? Resentment...
by Rachel Alexandria | Aug 18, 2022 | articles |
One of the biggest factors in an existential crisis is feeling disconnected from your own soul or heart. When you haven’t been listening to your heart for a long time, you can start to feel empty. You may notice most things don’t bring you a sense of...
by Rachel Alexandria | Jul 18, 2022 | articles |
How do you deal when the going gets tough? I love a good reality show because, as a psychology nerd, I learn so much about how people work — how they fail, how they deal with inner flaws, and how they get back up again. Snowflake Mountain on Netflix is the...
by Rachel Alexandria | Jun 15, 2022 | articles |
“Would you like to brush your teeth this evening?” “I understand you’re mad, but would you be willing to stop yelling?” As parents, we’d never say that. We don’t give kids options. We set boundaries and stick to it. That’s what helps kids grow...
by Rachel Alexandria | Jun 6, 2022 | articles |
Unless you’ve been living under a grey rock, you’ve heard about the “Great Resignation.” It’s the global phenomenon where people began leaving their jobs en masse in 2021. We are, collectively, tired of not be treated right, of being taken for granted, and...
by Rachel Alexandria | May 30, 2022 | articles |
(Harmful people post 2 of 2. See Harmful People Warning Signs here.) Once you’re able to spot harmful people, what can you do about them? First, remember it’s not your job to fix anyone, and the more you try, the more it erodes away your own confidence and...
by Rachel Alexandria | May 25, 2022 | articles |
(Harmful people post 1 of 2) You’ve probably heard about “toxic relationships” or difficult people (or toxic people and difficult relationships). In this post I’m using the term “harmful people” to encompass all of those things. I...
by Rachel Alexandria | May 8, 2022 | articles |
“Just cut them out of your life.” You’ve probably heard this advice when talking about dealing with harmful, abusive people, BUT….. What happens when you can’t just have them be dead to you? If it’s a parent, boss, teammate, or sibling, sometimes you...
by Rachel Alexandria | May 1, 2022 | articles |
Have you ever had this happen? You tell yourself, “Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry… keep it together… don’t cry” … …… And then the water works. Why can’t we control those damn emotions?! Emotions are so inconvenient and messy — I know you...
by Rachel Alexandria | Oct 7, 2021 | articles |
We are living in unpredictable and difficult times. There is so much we haven’t been taught to do that we need in order to stay healthy and have our energy flowing well. Stuff like shedding what doesn’t belong to us, including what I’m calling “ghost...
by Rachel Alexandria | Jul 28, 2021 | articles |
We want to be well-liked, but in trying to please everyone and prevent hurt feelings, we often end up creating the very drama we sought to avoid. In this article, I’m sharing the six ways we tend to avoid conflict with a coping behavior. What I discovered when...
by Rachel Alexandria | Feb 1, 2018 | articles |
Last year we dropped Who is in Charge of Your Brain? into the world and your feedback was overwhelmingly positive. But then I started hearing from enthusiastic readers that they wanted a follow-up. The book is just a wonderful taster, and they crave a next step into...
by Rachel Alexandria | Sep 7, 2017 | articles |
Join me for the official launch of my new book, Who is in Charge of Your Brain?! At 11:30 AM PT on Friday, September 8, 2017, this video screen *should* become live. I’ll be reading you the full book, complete with some character voices, plus sharing where you...
by Rachel Alexandria | Mar 1, 2017 | articles |
One of the things I love about social media is how it allows me to encounter, follow, and connect with so many bright minds. I’ve been struck in the last couple years by the passionate, brilliant freethinkers I’ve met, and after a while, a thread emerged...
by Rachel Alexandria | Oct 5, 2016 | articles |
“Well, aren’t you optimistic?” That was the first thing an elderly stranger said to me as I walked into the elevator. It is late September here in the Northwest, and I was wearing short shorts and a tank top with a jacket over it. She had taken it all in with an...
by Rachel Alexandria | Sep 23, 2016 | articles |
I offered an online intro class to cover some basics for how to cope when conflict arises. I created this in hopes of supporting you to feel more able to speak up on behalf of your beliefs and create change…without worrying as much about people disagreeing or...
by Rachel Alexandria | Sep 14, 2016 | articles |
“I don’t want to have to ‘handle’ people.” “I don’t want to be a hardass.” “I get so tired of saying ‘no’.” I see a lot of people who don’t like how they have to act in order to be...
by Rachel Alexandria | Aug 25, 2016 | articles |
What happens when you truly allow yourself to experience your anger? One of three things… Click play on this short video to hear my take on what you’ll find under your anger.
by Rachel Alexandria | Jul 20, 2016 | articles |
I asked this question on Facebook and got a number of answers (thank you, brave souls) that boiled down to two main obstacles: FEAR Timing Timing, I get, and I support that. Some movements in our lives need us to, as Captain Jack Sparrow says, “wait for the...
by Rachel Alexandria | Sep 1, 2015 | articles |
How often do you feel you have to accommodate what’s happening in your life? How frequently do you think it’s your job to adapt to the situation, rather than asking for someone else to change? As a Good Girls, we will change ourselves and push down our...
by Rachel Alexandria | Jul 23, 2015 | articles |
Sometimes my job is to help people hit the Wall of Futility with both more expediency and compassion than they would on their own. Hitting the Wall of Futility (an expression I first read in an amazing book called “Parenting Without Power Struggles”) is a...
by Rachel Alexandria | May 1, 2015 | articles |
People come into therapy because they are unhappy, in pain, angry, sad, etc. Essentially, things have gotten bad enough (emotionally, at least) that they realize they need help. And then they come in for the first visit, delve into the story and their anguish, and...
by Rachel Alexandria | Apr 28, 2015 | articles |
“Rachel, I have to tell you about what’s happened since we worked together last spring. The thing I got really clear on was that I didn’t have to change my boyfriend for it to be a good experience. When we talked about leaving him better than I found...
by Rachel Alexandria | Mar 10, 2015 | articles |
If you’ve been reading my posts for a while, you know I’ve always got some personal growth “thing” that I’m working on…and what’s been coming up in spades lately is surrender. I remember a friend once evoking it like in the Wizard of Oz, when the witch writes...
by Rachel Alexandria | Jun 8, 2014 | articles |
I got the nudge to visit the naked lady spa tonight. It was 9pm. I was in Eastlake, just leaving my office, and they close at 10. “Really?” I thought to myself. “That seems not quite right. It’ll be a lot of money for only a little bit of...
