š “I really want that ice cream cone?”
š š½āāļø “No, I shouldn’t have it. It’s too late at night. I’m already full. I won’t feel good afterwards…”
š “Omg, I did something so embarrassing in that meeting! I’d better message everyone to apologize.“
š š½āāļø “Love, don’t do that. It wasn’t THAT big a deal. I’m probably overreacting…”
Do you ever feel like you have internal arguments with yourself?
Sometimes you’re happy about who wins and sometimes it’s the proverbial little devil on your shoulder who gets what they want.
What if I told you thatĀ there’s a wholeĀ scientifically-validated, trauma-informed method forĀ stopping those internal fights?
It’s called IFS, orĀ Internal Family Systems.Ā It was created by Dr. Richard Schwartz, a psychologist who developed the method while working with patients struggling with eating disorders. He saw clearly that they felt very divided about their actions, but felt unable to change their patterns.Ā
IFS creates a way for people to engage with their different “parts” of themselves without the battle. With this method, we can interrupt the internal conflict and slow down to explore what is the motivation driving each of these parts. Eventually, we can befriend and mediate with the warring parts to end the conflict for good.
Rather than feeling the push pull on the inside, you can learn to take the role of thoughtful CEO of your inner company. You canĀ listen and tend to the different parts to help them get what they need.
When our partsĀ feelĀ listenedĀ to, theyĀ relax.
When our parts feelĀ caredĀ for, they come toĀ trust us.
When our partsĀ collaborateĀ instead of feud,Ā we feel moreĀ whole.
Credit: MURAL
Learning to cooperate with yourself instead of fighting an inner feud takes skills training and time. IFS is useful for pretty much everyone, but it can be challenging to figure out all on your own.
That’s why I help all my clients learn to find their inner children and other parts so they can create more inner harmony and cooperation and stop getting stuck in their own internal feuds.
Book a consult with me to find out how you can stop the inner fighting so you can lead your work and life with clarity and confidence.