Ever watch someone handle a difficult situation with grace, instead of snapping back or losing their self-control?
You might think to yourself, “I wish I could do that. I have no idea how they are so calm!”
Meanwhile, you find yourself doing or saying things in the heat of the moment that you later regret. But you need to know — it’s not because you’re broken or built different than that calm saint of a person.
Everyone has things that trigger their reactivity — situations that kick off your nervous system or jumpstart your anger.
Reactivity is the speed and the intensity of how your emotional state changes.
Situations that kick up your reactivity are unavoidable in life. Other people are gonna say and do annoying things that upset you, guaranteed.
When you are feeling more angry or hurt, you are more prone to make rash decisions and likely to do and say things you wouldn’t when you feel calm.
However, you CAN learn to control your reactivity. It’s a “muscle” you can build, just like strengthening your core so you can hold a plank or even do a handstand.
How? Enter what I call “The Power Pause.”
The Power Pause is taking a moment when you get triggered to stop before doing anything else.
By strengthening your ability to hit pause on your emotional ramp-up BEFORE it gets going, you can give your logical brain time to catch up. You can take a breath, acknowledge that a trigger happened, and give yourself some support. Then decide what action you want to take.
With training, you can do this even in just ten seconds.
When we stop to process, we interrupt the pattern and we can stop the reactivity.
If you’re interested in learning how to practice the Power Pause and gaining better control over your reactivity, you may be interested in Soul School. The Power Pause is just one of the key skills we learn and practice. You’ll learn more about what causes your own reactivity, plus have time to try out the Power Pause and practice building that magic calm with me.