“He wouldn’t change it the way I told him and I got irrationally angry!”

“They haven’t responded to my call in over an hour and I’m freaking out.”

We see the impact of past trauma everywhere. It’s hiding in plain sight, in these moments where we get triggered by something relatively benign. I describe it  as reacting to a level 2 problem with a level 10 intensity.

In a previous post, we explored how trauma makes the brain less functional and makes us less logical and more hypersensitive.

Let’s talk about what to DO about your trauma so you can get your balance back and not feel so out of control.


Trauma doesn’t heal on its own, and no one wants to raise their hand and say, “I’ve been traumatized.”  However, you don’t have to live overwhelmed, anxious, ashamed, upset, or fearful as trauma interrupts the body’s ability to integrate. Your emotions are valid and you don’t have to wrangle this by yourself. In fact, you cannot. Trauma cannot be healed without support from others.

Here’s what I suggest:

1. Honor your feelings. Remind yourself that it’s OK to feel whatever you’re feeling in the moment, and you don’t need to minimize it.
2. Take a breath. Trauma can make us feel small and contracted and sometimes what we need is space. Whether that’s a physical breath or moving to a new location away from the situation.
3. Communicate with a trained professional (someone like me or another trauma-trained therapist, EMDR or biofeedback provider). Watch out for the tendency to reach for a coping mechanism like alcohol, shopping, or extra work. I know they feel like a relief, but it’s always temporary and won’t make anything improve. I promise it’s going to get better when you find some safe and professional support.

You don’t have to struggle with this alone. This isn’t your fault. And getting help will make it better.


Want to get these articles in your inbox? Subscribe to my email list here.

No products in the cart.