You may have heard the phrase, “Most people go to therapy to learn how to deal with people who won’t go to therapy.”

Funny, but true, right?

The foundation of most healthy relationships is well-set boundaries. Most people think boundaries mean cutting people off forever, ending a friendship, or walking out of a job, or just letting everything burn.

gif of a cartoon dog sitting in the middle of a burning room calmly drinking a cup of coffee and saying "this is fine"

Boundaries don’t have to be drama-filled or drastic. It can simply mean choosing to not engage with a person or situation, or “grey-rocking”. (I wrote more about the grey rock techinque here.)

So, how do you know when you need to set boundaries with someone?

  • You feel anxious when you think of them
  • You’re always worried they are going to be upset with you
  • You feel worse about yourself after you spend time with them
  • You feel drained when you’re around them
  • You feel like you have to handle them with extreme caution
image titled "how do you know when you need better boundaries with someone?" showing the five points listed above


(Save this image above for your future reference!)

As you read this, is someone coming to mind?

What could you do differently now that you see this?

Read some more about boundaries here.


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