Recently, American singer and recording artist, Lizzo, was asked why she doesn’t “clap back’ at her haters. The singer often shares on her social media how she’s vegan, works out daily, and practices self-love despite constant criticism and jokes about her physical appearance.

When accepting a recent award, she made a statement,

“You know what, I’m not gonna say nothing. They be like, Lizzo, why don’t you clap back? Why don’t you clap back? Cuz, Bi**h, I’m winning, ho! This bi**h is winning, HO!”

Then she held her award high and smiled.
That’s self-love. That’s self-esteem.

So in the words of Lizzo, I ask you, “Baby how you feelin’?”


gif of a bathroom mirror and a smiling face being reflected in it with text "I love me" flashing at the bottom

Have you been prioritizing yourself? Are you being kind to yourself? Usually, our worst critics and haters are our own internal voices. And the only way to make our inner critic our friend is to work on it. 

Then we don’t feel the need to “clap back” when others criticize us or get on our nerves. We don’t feel the need to please people. We don’t lay in bed at night replaying every scene of the day, wishing we would have acted differently.

Healthy self-esteem comes from putting your deep needs (emotional, physical, etc) first.

To start doing that, take a moment and ask yourself what you are needing right now. Take a few minutes to give it to yourself. No matter how busy you are, spending 5 minutes giving to yourself will always be worthwhile.


image titled "what do you really need?" Five options appear in a circle around the center. One is an ipod with the text "your fav song." Next is a sleeping person with text "a nap." Next is a coffee cup with text "A warm beverage." Next is a cell phone with text "to hear a friend's voice." Last is a person sitting cross legged with text "some quiet deep breaths."


Then get a little deeper.

If you said things like:

  • I really need a cup of coffee.

Then ask, “Am I actually craving warmth and nurturance?”

  • I really need a nap.

Then ask, “Am I suffering from loose boundaries by saying yes when I should be saying no?”

  • I really need something to change.

Then ask, “Am I avoiding uncomfortable feelings and need a friend or guide to talk to that I feel safe with?”

I’m here to help if you want to understand and address what’s underneath your drives. 

Here’s what my client Denise said about working with me:

“Sometimes when making major changes, you need someone who can serve as a guide on this strange journey of self-exploration and growth. Rachel has provided specific and useful feedback on what messages I tell myself and what I convey to others, in addition to helping me regain my sense of efficacy.”

Big hugs for your growing self-esteem and self-love.


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