“My colleague doesn’t really get me. I say something I intend to be supportive, and she gets really cold and thinks I’m judging her. It’s got me really confused and frustrated.”
We get so upset when people don’t see us accurately. We believe they think we are stupid, or mean, or thoughtless.
Whenever someone doesn’t get us, it’s so easy for our inner critics to jump on board and start yelling that we aren’t as kind, smart, or capable as we aspire to be.
Credit: Late Night with Seth Meyers
When you feel chronically misunderstood, or if you didn’t feel “seen” much as a kid, this can be a really strong trigger for you. So much so that you might spend a lot of time worrying about how others view you, and even angling for validation from others frequently.
As a kid who often felt unseen herself, I can tell you with certainty—no amount of witnessing from others is going to fill up your void. That space inside you where you lacked being seen? It’s an inside job to get rid of that pit.
You can never be witnessed enough if you don’t make the space to see yourself.
External validation is both wonderful and necessary for your healing process. But so too is your OWN witnessing and approval of yourself. Whether it’s on your own in a mediation or with a trained professional like me, you have to make time to go inside, connect with your younger self who needs your validation, and give them your deep love.
I promise you, this will crack your heart open in the best way. And you deserve alllll the love that will fill you from it.
Important News!
I’m launching a podcast called Lonely at the Top, a show for high-level leaders carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders without a place to share it. I’m booking guests now and planning to share the debut in September 2025.
