I can’t wear that (or do that or say that)! What will people think?!”
What. Will. People. Think.
Four of the most harmful words ever strung together.
Before you ever said this to yourself, you heard it from someone else, likely a parent. And sure, maybe they said it out of misguided love, trying to keep you safe from bullying or social ostracization. Or they may have truly not been okay with aspects of you, because of their own personal issues.
Either way, the effect of those words is to cut off your true self. This concern about what other people will think implies that there is something about you that other people will not find acceptable, and that this is dangerous. Which inevitably is translated by your child brain as “something about me is not okay.”
So you try to put on masks and a polished persona in order to fit in. We all do this to some extent, of course. I wear “hard pants” and put on makeup to go out and socialize, for example, but at home, it’s all soft pants and au naturel. But if anxiety about what others think gets too strong, it can overpower your inner voice and how you see yourself entirely.
Credit: @boglio
This creates a lot of discomfort and trouble, because those parts of you that have been swept aside don’t go away. They still exist, waiting to be brought home and accepted by you.
The truth is that your authentic self—meaning ALL your parts and ALL their needs and feelings— is worth a million times more than what other people might be thinking about you.
We rarely know what other people actually think about us. And honestly, it matters so much LESS than what YOU think about you. You are valuable and worthy just as you ARE. There is no committee that gets to vote on your design; instead YOU get to be the ultimate authority for you.
It’s in your differences and your hidden compartments that the best of you exists. That’s what your uniqueness and your realness reside and are waiting to be let out and loved.
If you need any help developing that inner authority, I’m here for you. Because the whole point of this life is to love ALL of you, regardless of what anyone says.
